Players who slap from the left side of the box are cute. May even be nice kids. But I wouldn’t trust them if I were you. Why? Because if racing with them isn’t tough enough already, they get a lead. Seriously! It’s just not fair. Check out a current post I made for Fastpitch.TV at http://fastpitch.tv/slapper-save-10-by-dalton-ruer/

If you are one of those players/coaches/parents who assumes that players run 60 feet from home to first you don’t want to miss this special post I made for Fastpitch.TV.

http://fastpitch.tv/sale-going-on-now-at-a-field-near-you-dalton-ruer/

As it’s very name suggests Thanksgiving is always a time for giving thanks. As I sit alone at my keyboard with the sun rising in Georgia I count it a blessing that I’ve been able to spend the entire week giving thanks.

Saturday – I was fortunate enough to have the entire day to watch a bunch of girls that I love participate in a showcase tournament that started with a very unique format. In the first two games of the day eams exchanged half of their players with each other. While most of the parents were less than thrilled it brought an untold joy to my heart. I began Cross Training as a ministry to reach players and their families through long term relationships. The first team that I coached had many amazing young ladies on it who’m I blessed to still have contact with. Two such young ladies were Sydney O’Neill and Savannah Mills. During my team’s games I met a coach from another local park Curtis Walker. I enjoyed playing his team because he was committed to the same principles of teaching and making it about the girls that I was, and because his daughter Sarah Walker was such a talented and fiery player. Curtis also coached a travel team that Sydney would go on to play with in the next season so it was great to have that continued relationship with both families. Savannah’s family went to a local church with another super family the Burnette’s. John Burnette (who eventually officiated the weddings of both of my daughters) coached a team in Buford (who Sydney hit her first homerun off of) that I began working with. Among many of the phenomenal players on that team were two bubbly young ladies named Lanae Hodnett (3 time State Champion) and Lanier Paul (4 time State Champion) During that spring season I really enjoyed watching those two teams do battle repeatedly because I got to watch players on both sides that I was working with. Last Saturday morning my heart was filled with thanks as I got to watch the Duluth Lynx take the field. A team comprised of many fine young ladies and anchored by Sydney O’Neill, Sarah Walker, Lanae Hodnett and Lanier Paul now all playing together. If I wasn’t afraid of having you tune out on me I would trace the relationships that have resulted in the past 6 years from those people to the fine young ladies on the teams that those Lynx were opposing that day. For others it was a crazy, mixed up format. For me seeing players from the beginning of my ministry play against and with players that I’ve begun working with more recently was drawn up in heaven.

Sunday I began the day with a phenomenal service at my church. The worship was great. The message was great. Fellowship was great. The rest of the day continued in the same tone as I get to spend the entire day tinkering with a new computer and learning things that I’ve wanted to know how to do for years.

Monday I got to start working with a fantastic player for the first time (Lane Simmons). A young lady whom I’ve admired for her competitive spirit, the gifts she has on the field and the sincere desire she has to never stop learning. A yound lady I had already written a post about. As if not enough, immediately after working with her I got to work with one of my favorite players in the world (Meghan Rud), a young lady that I can trace through those first relationships, and encourage her to pick up the phone and make her first telephone calls to prospective coaches. Which she did successfully on Tuesday.

Tuesday I got to start working with two more players for the first time. One of whom is another young lady who’s roots I can trace to those first relationships (Mary Johnson). Another is a colleague at works daughter (Gabi Lopez). A man I barely knew but who asked me about a bright yellow name tag lanyard I had received the day before, which just happened to read “I Love Softball” over and over and over. Yeah that’s how I roll at work. Dress pants, dress shirt and bright yellow lanyards that say “I Love Softball.” During my first lesson I always have the players write down their dreams. When I read that Mary’s dream was to play at Auburn, a school who introduced the term Wintality to me that I love, and Gabi’s was to play for the National Team of Puerto Rico I knew it was going to be a great night. I “LOVE” working with players that are trying to pursue their dreams throgh softball.

While it would seem boring to some, on Wednesday I was blessed with the opportunity finally to just do some simple yardwork. I love the environment that God has placed me and my wife in and love taking care of that beauty. So while it was cold and windy, I just relished that time. Followed up that brisk work outdoors with some simple time sharing the kitchen with my wife as I mixed up the batter for the homemade pumpkin pies (me and my daughter’s favorite) and preparing our 21 pound bird for the 13 hours it was about to spend in the smoker shortly.

Thursday was a family day, like it is for most. A day spent with our daughters, their husbands and our 3 grand children. After all of the food. The laughing. The food. The talking. And some food. Just before being packed up for the trip home our youngest grand daughter Ella decided to take her first steps walking on her own. I ended the day falling asleep on the couch watching a television show called Tanked. Yet another reality show, but this was one about a funny family that builds some of the most amazing aquariums in the world. As a person who has a 120 gallon custom tank just sitting around because I have no time for taking care of it anymore, it was awesome to end my day just reliving the good old days and seeing the amazing things that are possible with some of God’s most beautifully designed and colored pieces of art.

Just the simple fact that I am at the keyboard this Black Friday morning instead of standing in line with a million of my closest friends is in itself a blessing. As my wife and I read the flyers yesterday it became obvious that we already have not only what we need, but most of what we want as well. Our plans for the day … spending time together. No softball lessons. No family. Just time alone together enjoying the simple fact that after 27 1/2 years of marriage we still love being together.

For many of the softball players I work with, and likely many around the country and the world this fall marks a serious time of transition. They started the year on teams that they had been on for a year or more and now find themselves on new team. Their former teams were marked with tremendous friendships and they knew exactly where they stood with the coaching staff. This weekend I watched many of these new teams finish the final games of this fall season, and frankly it hurt to watch many of them struggle.

If I could speak to those teams, I would say to them that just like an airport, teams are a “zero sum game.” You can’t see the romantic homecomings at the terminal gates, without also realizing that just beyond that couple there is a heartbreaking scene going as a family is separated. Planes cannot land, if they don’t first take off from somewhere else.

For those of you on new teams my advice is simple, remember the good times you shared but let go of the grip those old teammates have on your heart. Don’t spend your time comparing the players/coaches/parents of the new team to those people. Accept the fact that they are different. Embrace those differences. Look at each one of these teammates and realize that they are now in your life for a purpose and figure that out. Find what it is that you can learn from each of them.

For those of you who have lost great friends and have new teammates now on board. Try to imagine how they must feel, and how heart broken they must be for they are the ones who had to board the plan and depart from another town, another city, another team and they now find themselves smack dab in the middle of your team. Don’t wait for them to make the first move, and don’t just try and meet them half way, be the initiator. The one who opens your heart, is willing to accept the situation and reach out to them first, and reach out often.

Our former friends/teammates will always have a dear place in our heart, nothing can change that. But our new teammates can as well if we just let them. But teams can’t function effectively if players are still playing in their hearts with teammates that are miles away. There is sadness in leaving, but their can be happiness in new beginnings if you allow it.

If it were a movie the sun would be rising over a dew covered luscious field of green grass. One by one the camera would move from face to face. As it panned out you would begin getting the bigger picture, the picture of a ball team. Soon you would begin realizing that they were one of many, warming up for the battles that would unfold before you on the big screen. Soon the heart touching orchestra music would fade and the camera would begin meandering through it all as you heard the faint voices of the coaches and the players. It would finally rest on our heroine as you started hearing the music she was listening to. As she completed her mental preparations for the day, she’d remove the ear buds and put them away along with her iPod, pump her fist and storm out of the dugout with the loud noise that only cleats on concrete can make.

But this is my post, not a movie and as I approached the cloud covered, frost bitten fields yesterday in Duluth, GA and could see my breath the picture was quite different from a movie I can assure you. In the movies the weather is always perfect, and you know who the heroine will be. In real life the weather is often brutal, and at 8:00 AM you have no idea how the games will unfold. But you see that’s entirely the beauty of it. The fact that the players have to compete against each other under such diverse conditions, and accept and play through whatever situations come there way, and at the end of the day when the sun has set, and the briskness of the autumn air has set back in, the ones that rose above it all, the ones that understand it is a team of heroines and not just one are the ones standing tall. The ones that you just jump out of your seat, with your cold knees, and your stiff back and you throw your glove covered hands around. They are the ones with the tears of joy welling up in their eyes because they are going to bed forever changed by what they did on that day. That single cold, fall day when they were the David facing their Goliath, and they delivered the fatal blow.

The fatal blow in this case being a 7 run, late, inning marked by lots of singles, bunts moving runners and of course the gratuitous fist pumping Grand Slam just for the folks in Hollywood. What I love about this game, and the amazing players I have the privilege of knowing and working with is that those kind of innings never happen at 8:00 AM, they are always at the end of the day. Because comebacks like I witnessed are never marked by a single player, it has to be a team effort. To the 18U Gold Duluth Wildcats I say:

Thank you for the opportunity to watch a team of girls who despise losing fight until the end, never having given up.

Thank you for the opportunity to watch a team of girls who never turned down the throttle on their intensity just because it was cold and late.

Thank you for the opportunity to watch a team of girls who always lifted up and never doubted each other.

Thank you for …. THE PERFECT DAY.

An exciting element of being me and helping girls learn how to raise the bar on what they expect of themselves, seeing them set really high goals, and then watching them hit those goals. In regards to this, I have to say that this week was on of the most exciting times for “being me” that I can recall. You see I work with a player that is at a level of competitiveness, that what she wants to achieve and what she is willing to do to achieve it that is just way out there.

One of the things that I frequently talk about with my players is when you are done, what will your legacy be. Will your name be in the college program for just the 4 years you are there, or will you be in the back of the book for others to use as a target? If you know me, then you know that I get all keyed up attacking the bases. So when this player set a goal to beat the NCAA Division I single season stolen base record I was stoked. Not normal Dalton stoked. I mean like way out there stoked.

When you set a long term goal like that you don’t just wake up one morning accomplishing it. You have to set a roadmap, I call them GPS Based Goals if you have ever been to one of my clinics. You have to define the points along the journey that allow you to measure whether you are heading in the right direction or not. So the first destination on the course, was breaking her high schools stolen base record. Rather than just breaking the school’s single season record, she went ahead and shattered the schools career stolen base record. In just this season. What another had accomplished in 4 years, she broke just this year. And they haven’t even started their playoffs yet where she’ll surely get more.

We celebrated for a few minutes. Ok maybe more than a few minutes, and maybe I did get her a card to tell her how proud I was. But then we moved right on to “Now how do we go about breaking the entire State of Georgia’s single season stolen base record next year.” The first thought of course is “Can you get on base more often so that you have more chances to steal?” While we always strive for perfection the fact is her batting average is almost .500 and her on base pct is almost .600. So while there is room to improve, the odds that she doubles her production next year just by getting on base a few more times is pretty slim. So we had to analyze each time she was on base, and figure out why she didn’t get more this year. The problem was that there were girls in front of her that were in her way. She could ask them to just make outs, but then it would be hard to lead the team in RBI’s. Part of setting goals has to be an acknowledgment that whatever obstacles are in the way, will still be there unless you figure out a way to get around them. Basically we both feel like the strongest possible way to accomplish her individual goal, is to become a leader and somehow help those players become more aggressive as well. If they steal 3′rd, she can steal 2′nd. Or they attack 3′rd when she hits instead of stopping at 2′nd, then she can steal 2′nd. In other words, instead of just focusing on the same skills we have been for the past 3 years: timing, speed, sliding, diving and consistently getting on base she has to become more of a leader and motivator to get these girls on board with helping her achieve her goal. She has to help them “want” to GET DIRTY.

Meghan is determined that the single season stolen base record for the State of GA will be hers and she needs them to move forward, so that she can move forward.  So the exciting thing is that while they don’t know it yet, but by this time next year they will also have broken the schools “former” record.

Yes I’m throwing som props out to Meghan Rud for what she puts into this game, and for the fact that she sees now what she’ll do in 6 years and is willing to work hard to get there every single day of her life. But hopefully as you’ve read this you yourself are realizing that whatever your personal goals may be. The odds are strong that for them to be “record breaking” you will benefit the team by accomplishing them, and you will also need the team to help you accomplish them. But that sounds to cliche I know so I won’t write that.